Friday, March 14, 2014

And Now, The News

The latest from the Low Quarterly:

With the first signs of Spring underway, the piercing cries of the Zillas' mating calls can be heard from the Soldier's Quarter as the semi-intelligent beasts begin their month-long breeding cycle. To celebrate this event and encourage their success (the Zillas suffering from a very low fertility rate) the priesthood of Mother Love, consort to Father Wisdom and queen of the Temple of Man, led the spring rites in the streets the 7th Ward. 

The rites, known as the Theft of Water, are a three-day festival reenacting the legend of how Mother Love sacrificed herself to free Father Wisdom from the Dragon. In a beautiful ceremony a captive Dragon Tyrant and 36 Virgins are wed amidst a thousand ochre flowers, followed by the joyous ritual castration of the Tyrant. The beast's severed penis is tossed blindly to the crowd of Virgins who furiously fight for the honor of devouring it, for it is said that the woman who catches the detached member will bear only strong, healthy children. Finally, the processional crescendos with a radiant vision of Mother Love herself, pregnant with the first Zilla (her gift to Man), who divines from the menstruation of the 36 Virgins whether the seed of the Dragon shall hold or whether it will fall free.

In other news, escaping straight out of the example blurb from Advanced Stoolie Rules, Buck-Tooth Toomba is now accepting bribes. Former Red-Eyed Raptor, a defunct street gang muscled out by the Metal Fingers and the Silver Skulls, still has a lot of friends in the 7th Ward.

Tips: 100 gp / wk
Hitting the Pavement: 200 gp / 1st wk, 400 gp / 2nd wk, etc.
Seed Money (Tips): 150 gp / wk
Seed Money (Hitting the Pavement): 300 gp / 1st wk, 600 gp / 2nd week, etc.

Finally, Vira the Voluptuous, Dream Oracle and Sensei of Sensation, is interested in acquiring samples of a scarlet vapor that has recently been recovered from the dungeon which is rumored to be distilled from purest nightmares. Vira is willing to teach Dream spells of the first circle to any Warlock who brings her a vial of this vapor or spells of the first two circles of Dream (as well as free tutoring) to any who can produce the secrets of the vapor's manufacture.
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